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February 19 Uphill battleEmotinal Eater Coming Through. I think this will be the toughest thing to conquer. When I hit an emotinal low the low self esteem comes rushing back. I tell myself how worthless I am and how this battle with obesity will NEVER be won. This is the first time since the beginning of this journey that I have felt like giving up. Trying again when I have more time or less things on my plate (no pun intended). I look back at my entire life and see where I have failed due to my own detrimental thoughts. It is so frustrating to be so negative, yet I don't know any other way. Yet, another learning curve, something that will take time to master.
In my heart I am willing to learn how to react to these feelings in a more positive way. I truly only hurt myself when I get that defeatist attitude. I am proud of my accomplishment, so far. I am proud that my clothes are fitting loose and I have more energy. I need to remind my self of all the positives of this healthy lifestyle I am learning. This journey is one of hard work. I would not say it is a sacrifice to learn a better way to care for myself. It is time consuming in a good way. I have learned some really great habits. I was thinking today. before my pity party. about how easy it is to eat healthy, exercise, and make better choices. I am amazed at the fact that I now think before I go out to get something "quick and easy" aka fast food. I don't know why but now I feel like I get it... but to a certain degree, I do. I went to the store today and headed straight for the Hostess aisle... yum a lemon pie (calorie count something like 800) or a couple of Ding Dongs for the drive home to satisfy my hunger....I have to say I did not buy anything like that... headed straight to where I needed to go and then was out of the store. This is a victory, nothing less. Something I should be proud of! So, in all my ramblings I admit, I am an emotional eater. I am working on a different outlet to get past the lowest of lows so I can continue to have a positive self image and continue with more positive choices. I have things I want to be proud of, to some it may seem like my victories are VERY small, but to me they are another hurdle I have cleared. I don't want to back slide and gain weight. I like the idea of the scale is going down as my enthusiasm and drive are moving upward. Emotional Eater be gone... if only it were that simple! February 18 What a week!!!Down 3 more pounds!!!! I cannot believe it!!! So that makes a total loss of 12 pounds. Pat told me when I have lost 20 I can get my hair done... LOL. It needs it bad, but it is giving me some incentive to stay on track, only 8 more pounds! I took the weekend off from exercising, I really was not feeling well. It helped! I got some much needed rest and I am feeling better.
Today was a busy day and I still got in my 60+ minutes of cardio!!! I know I did not eat so well last week but I learned a good lesson. I like to eat what I want but there are repercussions to doing that too much. That is how I got to the weight I am. Slowly but surely it is coming off. I am feeling better due to the change in my eating habits. I intend on staying on track this week to see what happens with the scale! I don't know that I am going to lose another three, time will tell  I have not tried any new recipes lately. Pat made a really nice Valentine's meal. He did not get to enjoy it as he had to go to work but it really was good. Steak, red potatoes, scallps, salad.... it was yummy! I am thankful he is such a good cook... much better than I am, LOL. It is late I should get some rest!!! Keep working toward your goals!!!! February 10 Exercise, anyone????Today has been a better day for both Pat and I. We got up had our usual oatmeal. We then watched a movie, drank our first round of water, and decided who would start cardio first. I won, LOL. So, I did my hour of cardio then he got on the elliptical while I did my heavy ball strength training. I took Bob's advice from an earlier episode and did it while sitting on the big exercise ball, to work my core muscle group a bit harder. It was a GREAT work out! The elliptical says I burned 565 calories and I know I burned a bunch more with the strength training. I know that many will say how awful the theater popcorn is, but I honestly did not eat very much of it, any is too much. At any rate, I am sure the scale may reflect this as well as the high fat burger and fries I ingested but that is the reason to work out harder in the coming week. I don't want the scale to move in the wrong direction! So, all I can do is eat healthier and move more, and learn from the experience. If I gain then I will work harder to get it going in the right direction.
We had Subway today for lunch, it was really good. I made some sf/ff pistachio pudding with some coolwhip free... it was yummy. In fact I liked it better than the blizzard I had yesterday!!! Now that says something, if only I had thought of it prior to eating the Blizzard. If you feel a sweet craving coming on... try this one, it is worth the five minutes to make it, LOL AND with the cool whip free in it, it is like a mousse and VERY creamy. For supper, we are grilling some chicken breast (boneless/skinless) marinated with some lemon pepper, franks red hot, and worchestire (spelled wrong) with that we will make some veggies and some potatoes with some dry ranch and olive oil cooked in the oven. So, today is not a bad day... plus I have my workout in early...so I can relax for the rest of the day!!!!! Well, night, LOL. All in all it has been a good day... may the good days keep coming  Another week down ...Down another 1.8 pounds! Yeah me! This is really good considering we went to Olive Garden! I did not choose the best meal that would help with my better eating habits but I also did not really enjoy my meal, so I only ate half of it, at most, which as we all know is PLENTY! The good thing was there was not an opportunity to take any home as we were not in town. This past week, I worked out harder than I have been because of the overnight trip and not eating too healthy for a few days. I did take into consideration the extra calories and knew there was NO WAY I was going to gain this week!!! I am soooo glad I have learned at least that much. It has been so cold that I just want to come home from work or class and go to bed, but my drive has gotten me to make it down the stairs to the elliptical and catch up on some shows that I have missed due to our busy schedule. Thank heavens for DVR, LOL. Every day is a struggle for me to eat healthier and most days I accomplish that goal. Today was a "free" day for Pat and I. BAD, BAD, BAD.... we went to the movie had some popcorn and diet coke...our sons went with us and when I said not butter on the popcorn my son said, "No butter?" So, I gave in and got butter. Another hour on the elliptical will not kill me, right???? Well, it gets worse from here, we decided on greasy burgers, fries AND a BLIZZARD....can you say I think I gained 2 pounds???? Yep, more time lifting weights and cardio. But you all know the saying, "You play, you pay" I will be paying for this "free" day for the next week. The positive side... at least I know what I have to do to get these calories off, before I would have just said, "oh well." Learning from experience is a valuable lesson, if you learn at least something. The further we get in this journey the more positive choices we make, THIS IS A HUGE PLUS! We were talking about my sisters wedding tentatively scheduled for August. Imagine how much weight we could lose by then... really impress not only ourselves, but the family too. Bonus!!!! Well, it is late and I am getting sleepy. I will no doubt be dreaming of the elliptical and weight training with Pat... I really think he is just as persistent as Bob and Jillian! Oh, hope you all got to watch the entire episode this past week. We missed it due to the Super Tuesday coverage and only got to see the 2 minute recap. I am pretty sure that the Blue team is slowly unravelling, Jackie looks GREAT!!!!! I am so glad she is doing something productive with the children in her community. Childhood obesity is such a HUGE problem in America! I hate to say it, but I think they made a big mistake by making Dan angry. He has put up some big numbers and will probably continue that trend. I do believe he is IN IT TO WIN IT!!!!
Well, good night! Keep up the good work toward your goals and I promise, I will try to be better at blogging the Biggest Loser saga from the Morgan Household!!!! February 02 ProgressTime flies. I have, however, lost 7.2 pounds. It seems like I have lost more inches this time around. I wish I had, had the foresight to have measured myself at the beginning so I could compare them now. But when we decided to do this I was not enthusiastic about putting any pictures up, thus the baggy sweatshirt and sweat pants, let alone having numbers to connect to body parts. Now, don't get me wrong. I am still not brave enough to let anyone take a picture of me with bike shorts and a sports bra on. I am however going to get some new pics up of me in more fitting clothing. Nothing helps motivate a person then having to look at themselves to view what others see. I know I am my biggest critic, but I am also my biggest fan.
This past week has had it's ups and downs. We had three birthdays this past week in the office... oh my, you would think they could have combined them , but no, we had cake, ice cream, bagels.... The bagels were easy to say no to but when one of my co-workers brought me a small piece of cake
 with some ice cream I threw caution to the wind and dug in!!! Bad Bad Vangie, as Pat would put it! I was not impressed by the cake (I did eat it, though) but the ice cream was delicious!!! I am not a huge fan of ice cream, but this was really good. So, of course I worked out a bit harder that night and felt the pains of guilt. The rest of the week was pretty good. I stayed away from things that I knew would trigger a distructive path, more ice cream, for example  Was I angry with myself for "falling down"? YES! Did I learn something? I want to think I did, only time will tell. I exercised at least 5 times for 60 mins/day. I will update my workout log, I still need to do more strength training, hopefully this week will prove to be the week I incorporate more into my workouts. This week has been crazy!I am feeling better about myself and just wanted to say that I can actually touch my toes again!!!!!! You can laugh, it makes me chuckle. For the longest time I could not bend and get my hands past my knees, HONESTLY! But the other day I got up and leaned over and there I was touching my toes... my back did not hurt, my muscles did not pull. Hey this working out thing has it's advantages! Well, besides making me sweat... So, my defining moments this week were: I am now down 7.2 pounds AND I can, once again, touch my toes! At 40 years old that has got to mean something. |
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